It all started with a layoff, or was it the 2016 election? Also, I’d be lying if I didn’t admit it was an early midlife crisis – most of this took part right as both of us were about to turn 40.

We were in our late 30s. Parents of preschool-aged children. Suburbanites who have lived in Detroit, New York City, Austin, The Triangle, & Sacramento. Despite bringing in two healthy incomes we were living paycheck to paycheck. Daycare cost more than our mortgage. We spent more time in our cars than at home. We were in the rat race and completely miserable.

We needed change before we broke.

We started by bucking suburban norms. We went down to one income, which somehow helped us save money (daycare is EXPENSIVE*). Sold our house. Moved to a smaller city with lower living expenses. Rented while we paid off debts. Let go of additional expenses – including our 2nd car. It’s amazing how much peace of mind you can get from simplifying and changing your expectations.

Once we moved away and stopped trying to keep up with the Joneses we realized how much happier we were away from the noise and traffic. Which is why we literally, in our 40s, bought the farm.

*Mind you, as expensive as it is, daycare workers are still underpaid